“Stop crying, suck it up or big boys don’t cry” are some of the messages I and many other received as boys in what was sometimes very difficult moments – enduring real discipline, losing a toy, not getting what I wanted when or how I wanted it. Those moments hushed my cries as a boy but buried my emotions as a young man.
It is interesting how things that we are told to help us as children can hurt us as adults if not unlearned or relearned (through appropriate teaching).
Myth one: “Men don’t cry”
True meaning – Male’s cannot live in a helpless state or condition.
Being helpless – (not having the ability to advance as he should at the age and stage of life he is in) renders him feeling like a boy.
In every male/female there is a masculine and feminine polarity, gender determines which is predominant. For example in a male the masculine polarity majority of the time is the dominant polarity. Each male has to work that out independently as part of forming masculine strength and/or character.
It’s up to a man to become the man he is to become. The void I speak of is the unknown, unrealized strength deposited within the inner core of his being. The feeling of helplessness comes upon him when he doesn’t know how to access the power he needs to answer a need or resolve a problem. Rather than succumbing to the feeling of helplessness – begin mapping out the unknown things in your life – sort of like a journey or quest yet to be discovered. The map identifies the voids within and around him, his fate and potential. Learning to map things out empowers you to step out of the void or moments of voids and remove chaos from your life.
To understand this better; remember that it is the task of the male to get to know himself (masculine and feminine traits). To understand the female is to understand female intuition, grace, patience, etc.. It is important for males to acknowledge that females bring knowledge to us about ourselves that go beyond our frame of reference. When the female person our surrounding world tells us something outside of our frame of reference our tendency is to think or foolishly say “she is crazy”.
This is a crucial error, as we will be throwing away an opportunity to adjust the way we think about a subject and progress. Because she is showing him something outside of his frame of reference it represents a void until he is able to access it. If not wise enough to receive it he risks being unwittingly entrapped in a cyclical ‘game’ of responding to fears, his and hers.
Although the male may not understand this new knowledge, if he incorporates it into his frame of reference it will release him to gain understanding and overcome the void and walk with the ability to use the prior unknown power.
The order of life has it that the male is the one who firstly, provides the lead; secondly points out the direction; and thirdly, prescribes the method to be employed. These three points are so very important in our understanding of what is to be a true male that we need to consider each one in-depth.
Providing or taking the lead in life does not mean that the male has been giving a license to dominate the female even though some men may think so. On the contrary it means males are to empower, consider both of their needs/wants and guide.
Taking the lead means initiating the action. It can be the act of discussing, the act of setting an example of mutual respect, the act of engendering hope, the act of inspiring self belief/esteem in another, the act of giving guidance to an employee who may be insecure in his/her work, the act of being open to criticism, the act of listening and of taking another person’s state of being into account, the act of starting a new project, the act of starting a family, the act of sex, etc. Ultimately taking the lead means initiating the act of intelligent co-operation.
The mature male would never violate another person’s freedom but will always try to get that person to cooperate intelligently with him or he with them. The true male is able to encourage dialogue or provide insight rather than impose his will upon another.
All of life is interrelated, and therefore fully interactive and interdependent. Each situation is an opportunity to teach a boy to overcome the sense of helplessness by tackling the problem one step at a time, in the simplest and most practical manner possible.
|1) Dominate||2) Impose||3) Violate|
Rather stands firm and unwavering in his knowledge and in his responsibility of being the male.
“Applied knowledge of self is true power”.
How do you respond when if you feel helpless, challenged or angry?
Do you have a map to unveil your masculine journey?
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|Hydration Package – $90
Hydrate your face and hands to avoid dryness from colder weather
|Relaxation – $100
Getting ready for winter hybernation possibly the last pedicure for the year make it a good one with a Parrafin Treatment on both hands and feet to lock in moisture for dry month coming
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|Full Head to Toe – $95
||The Royal way – $80
Join us on November 22nd & 23rd at Hilton Garden Inn (Ajax) for inaugural Man UP Event where men of all ages, stages and walks of life will be gathering for truly masculine journey.